There is this constant struggle within me. I want to write to get better at writing. I want to write to share knowledge and experience that I have learned, but as I learn and grow, I’m worried that I will inevitably write pure crap. Crap that is useless and not worth reading and is instead clogging up the interwebs and adding more noise than signal.

I have a problem that as I read through the internet these days, it often needs to be clarified who is an expert and who is pretending to be one. The question is: who do you trust?

It’s funny that my last blog post was about Trust, but it’s real. Trust is the challenge I face with reading and, therefore, the problem I have with writing content. Why should you trust what I’m writing? Why would you listen or read this? Why would you believe it?

The other fear is being judged. When I first created a website, my father questioned why I would do it. Why would you put yourself out there for people to judge you? Once you create and publish something, anyone can read it. There are services out there that archive your thoughts. I can still find the first website I wrote in 1996 on one of these archives.

What if the content I write hurts someone later on? What if the stuff I put out is wrong? What if the stuff I put is harmful?

There are ethics in writing and ethics in creating anything. I briefly studied ethics in one class in college. Was that enough to adequately understand the impact of my choices in creating?

For me, the fear is sometimes crippling. I’ve been writing as much as possible on this blog this year, and I’m still getting only a couple of posts a month. Often, what I will write will be useless. If I write a review, will it be hurtful? I’m critical, a coach, and always looking to improve. Will my nature be hurtful?

As I wrestle with these internal conflicts, I will continue to pursue my goal of writing—if for no other reason than to become a better wordsmith.